i am 100 years old. i was born yesterday. i am the winter sunrise. i am the spider in the shower. i am alternating bites of half-sour pickles and trader joe's 4-cheese mexican blend in front of your fridge at 3:27 a.m. i am progressing humanity's evolution into an intelligent race of bipeds with crab-like features. i'm going to the potluck. im bringing chili. i'm bringing chili. i'm bringing chili
