they've been gone for years now, you still can't imagine ever forgetting a fucking word they said. you've grown, learned so much going through life without them, and you'd trade it all in in an instant. you use words like "toxic", "naive", "codependent", clinging to the conviction that this was what you deserved. it makes you nauseous remembering the lies you bought, the lengths you went, the tears you wasted. and yet nothing will ever be so real.